Category Archives: Twitter

Twitter Zoo Expansion – Again!

In Twitter the nice lady Ann asked if there was a “confused and multi-layered animal” in the Zoo or something similar to that. Got me thinking there must be. And Of Course! The Chameleon has its given place in the Twitter Zoo. The Chameleon sits quietly observing every movement. Its eyes can even be moved separately. It can show itself in many colors but is very discreet. But all of a sudden it strikes out. The fly had no chance of survival when the Chameleon’s tounge lashed out as a lightning!
A Chameleon = A Tweeter that is very quiet but can change character very quickly. Will follow or not. Chances are that you will not notice that it is a Chameleon until it is too late to react. Learn to expect the unexpected in here.

Seems also that Twitter is being somewhat divided into a “Happy half” and a “Unhappy” half according to recent research done by Cornell. Here a link to New Scientist that mention this. So we need to have a Happy and an Unhappy animal here too to reflect this.

First we have to find an Unhappy animal. This is a bit hard but after a while I came up with a slightly stubborn animal that in a certain children’s story is a clear image of a cloudy mind. We are talking about the Donkey in some books referred to as “Eeyore”.  “Eeyore” never bites back but regular Donkeys just might  if they feel cornered.
A Donkey = A Tweeter that is predominantly Negative in Tweets and speaks negatively on people, things and even themselves. Sometimes a Donkey might follow you but you might think twice about following them back. If you are somewhat a Donkey yourself. It seems like Donkeys like each other.

The Happy animal was not so hard to find. Imagine a playful creature that like to dive, swim and even slide through the snow or play hide and seek in the Kelp – yes the Otter! The Otter will jump happily into any conversation, spontaneously say “what, what, what” (this is the authentic sound of a real otter), cheerfully put one of two smileys out there and dive along to a new meeting or fish to feast on.
An Ottter = A predominantly Positive Tweeter that are only too happy to make conversation and likes to spread cheer around. Will probably follow and is a dream to follow back.

But there is more and new addition to our Zoo. We have to introduce you to the Rabbit! We know what a rabbit is and what a Rabbit makes, right? More Rabbits! The Rabbit  does just that, adds accounts by the hour – nobody knows how many accounts and single Rabbit might have created. At least six I would guess, and counting. The Rabbit also wants to create a huge number of followers, using other Rabbits to manage that. The Rabbit is always in a hurry, but feels running late as the Rabbit in “Alice in Wonderland”. The Rabbit is known to even retweet himself in order to save time. Will follow only to get a follow back.
A Rabbit = A Tweeter that is splitting himself onto several accounts to be everywhere but the result is being nowhere. Not so interesting to follow back perhaps?

Then we have the complexity of the Badger. As the Badger’s face is black and white the Badger sees other Tweeters as either black or white too. Good Guys or Bad Guys. As the Badger is scared of being had (only coming out at night) for a ride the Badger is restricting his Tweets, that s not letting just anybody follow him. You have to apply and wait for the Badger to accept you. He may or may not. The Badger wants to keep in control and feel that in Twitter that is hard. The Badger is very protective and feels that someone is always trying to steal something or stalking the Badger.
A Badger = A Tweeter that protects his Tweets. If you manage to make the Badger believe that you are one of the White he might follow back or let you follow. The general feeling is of course – why bother with someone who does not trust you and is not very interested in you either? Badgers are just too boring.

The next Twitter animal is not boring. Welcome the Cobra. There is not an animal faster than this one. It strikes faster than a lightning, following you. Then, just as fast, he decides to unfollow you before you even had the time to react to the follow. The Cobra is gone already, left you there to die slowly never really knowing what hit you. The general rule of waiting four days before unfollow someone you follow and want to follow you back is wasted on the Cobra. The Cobra is out to get a new victim.
A Cobra = A Tweeter that follows you and then unfollows you too quickly. Just try to ignore the Cobra and let it slither away!

So there – a couple of new additions to the Twitter Zoo.

We have already seen animals in the posts before – check them out too! And come up with new animals!

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Twitter Zoo expanded – D added! Take a Sniff!

As the friendly David commented on the last post there is certainly room for a new addition to the Twitter Zoo. David suggested that there should be a dog in the Zoo ” a faithful follower and supporter that does its best to help and on occasion brings something interesting”. That got me thinking about dogs. There are many different kinds of dogs out there. So let us create a complete new section of the Twitter Zoo only for dogs! Enter into the D section!

First we need to have a working dog, a dog that can stand hard times, is full of energy and can learn lots of tricks and still will stand firm at the end of the day. There are quite a few to choose from but I will go for two shepherds: The German Shepherd and the Border Collie. Without a doubt these two fit the profile well. A Dog of this caliber will always there to quickly assist you in any predicament. It will lead the blind, find delicious mushrooms, locate thieves or guide the herd to its proper location. In short – the perfect partner. And a Leader!
A Shepherd = A Tweeter follower that assists, supports and comes with useful advice at all times with no strings attached. A sure dog to Follow!

Second you will see the social Dog surface. It is a bit lazy but always in a good mood making you feel the same. It will lick your hand, bark friendly when you arrive and wag its tail whenever you do anything, no matter what you do. If you sing it will sing along! Unfortunately dogs are tone deaf! The natural choice is the Golden Retriever. A Golden Retriever has “retrieve” in its name but is more interested in “receiving”. Lots of cheers and lots of love and returning the favor in abundance too.
A Golden Retriever = A Tweeter who is the epitome of cheerfulness and love. A sure follow – you cannot do without it!

Close by there must be the Savior, a dog that can really save your life when you are out into the wild wasteland of the web without a compass or paddle. A dog that can really step forward and penetrate the blizzard and come to the rescue. We are talking St Bernard of course! With Brandy and all the trimmings. This brave Dog does not make do with small favors – it will be there for the entire trip. When all the other followers have left this one will still be there ready to make any heroic attempt to make your life better.
A St Bernard = A Tweeter that never will abandon you and always is ready to save your skin. Follow to the ends of the Earth!

Then we have the Hunter. A fearless Dog that can follow any creature into the darkest of places and through the roughest terrain. This dog will get you to your target and will find your prey. The Dachshund is the perfect Dog for this work. Set a Dachshund on the trail and it will hunt relentlessly until the chase is over. Then it will wait for its next assignment with impatience. But you have to treat it well, a Dachshund is no slave!
A Dachshund = A Tweeter who will help you find stuff again and again. Guess if you should follow this one back.

Then we have a bit more aggressive Dogs. We have the Defenders. A Defender is a Dog that will do just that – defend you to its death if need be, using all its power in the process. It will rather die than letting anyone else hurt you. We have several dogs to choose from: Bull Terriers, Dobermans, Rottweilers and sometimes even German Shepherds. I will settle for the Doberman. This Dog will  make anyone who might consider attacking you shiver and quickly reconsider. You will have a watchdog that will look out for you even when you are not logged in.
A Doberman = A Tweeter that is your Twitter Terminator. Keep one at you own peril!

Last but least you have the Accessory Dog. A Dog you have just to look good or a Dog that others might think is cool. It could be a Dalmatian, an Afghan or a Chihuahua. They do not actually DO much more than exist and they have no other task either. I symbolically go for the Chihuahua, the handbag “Paris Hiltonian” Dog. Just as much as you really “need” to follow Paris Hilton, or for that matter Perez Hilton(who has a dog in his Twitter page), you really “need” a Chihuahua follower. But it might make you look cool – or what do you think?
A Chihuahua = A Tweeter that is famous but has nothing real to say. Cut the leash and let it go!

Of course there might be other Dogs that can be interesting AND other intriguing animals that will catch the Twitter Zoo attention soon.  Perhaps more reptiles, insects, fish or mammals – think hard and get a new addition to Twitter World.
Thanks again David for expanding the Twitter Animal Kingdom with new blood in your comment to the initial post on the Twitter Zoo -keep it coming!

Secret Revealed – Who is Who in the Twitter Zoo!

Ever wondered what wildlife you will encounter on your next trip to Twitter World? You might be surprised, but the Twitter Zoo is filled with more than one species and they all have their characteristics and distinguishing marks.

In “Animal Farm” by George Orwell one line went something like “All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.” In the novel that was ironic and was a comment on the World as he saw it. But what can be said, ironically or not, on our Twitter World? What animals rule Twitter, what animals are there and what attitude in relation to them shall we use? What animals are advisable to follow and what animals are most lightly to follow us? Let’s go-see!

What is your opinion on the average Twitter bird and is there such an animal in Twitter? I guess the general myth on this contains “a person who Tweets once a day and who follows people back who follows, being genuinely interested in two-way communication. Nothing average about such a bird though. I would call them Canaries as the original cartoon character “Tweety” actually was a Canary bird. Tweety was a bit naive but a survivor too. Today’s Tweeties might be just that too, naively embracing the original idea of communication between peers and just may be the animal that will survive in Twitter after all is said and done.
A Canary =  1 Tweet/day and follows you back. Of course we appreciate Tweety!

But Tweety was always threatened by Sylvester, the Cat. This animal is very cunning and work a bit on the sly. Being a Cat also mean not over-working either. The Cat’s aim is to get admiration, but is neither interested enough or hard-working enough to follow back.
A Cat = 1 Tweet/day but does not follow you back. We do feel the Cat has too many lives – Unfollow!

In contrast to the Cats there are the Bees. A Bee is a real busy animal and Tweets perhaps even five times per day and still has the time and strength to follow you back. The Bee is here, there and everywhere buzzing from flower to flower, subject to subject and still makes it back to the hive to tell all his friends.
A Bee = 5+ Tweets/day and follows you back. If we can the extensive Honey Flow we like the Buzz!

But there are more dangerous animals lurking about. We have the Crocs in the shallow water just waiting to get their teeth into your fresh and juicy flesh. They are active 24/7 Tweeting like crazy. But they are not too keen on small talk before going in for the kill. A Croc has no visible ears but a huge mouth which is used frequently in all directions.
A Croc = 5+ Tweets/day but does not follow you back. Too many teeth marks all over – Unfollow!

And then we go into slower parts of the Twitter Zoo. First we have the Snails. They are not too hasty and not too quick in sending out Tweets. They are quite satisfied to send out a Tweet now and then just to make every one, and themselves too, aware that they are indeed still out there. And if you actually notice them they are only too pleased to notice you back. A Snail is a friendly animal.
A Snail = Less than 1 Tweet/day and does follow you back. You make fine barbecue on a slow fire!

A lot less lovable legless creature is the Leech. A Leech does not care for your aches and pains it just wants to suck everything it can out of you and your friends too. But the Leech does not want to work for it, just make an occasional twist of the tail to lure you in. And you can forget about a follow back – a Leech is just your sociable kind of slug.
A Leech = Less than 1 Tweet/day and does not follow you back.  Loose the Leech!

Another slow animal is the Sloth. Sloths are even slower than Snails, nut just as nice. They practically stay silent and wait for someone to notice their very existence. Then they lighten up and follow you back. But as they do not want to embarrass anybody they avoid Tweeting like the plague. One might wonder what they are doing in the Zoo, but in Twitter World everyone has a spot.
A Sloth = No Tweets but does follow you back. Do you want to follow?

Twitter World can also present a World Sensation – the Dodo! Yes, we do know that the Dodos are supposed to be extinct.  Here in Twitter they do exist and they flourish too. AS you might have guessed already a Dodo does not make much sound or like to attract attention. So a Dodo has adopted the wonderful tactic of saying nothing and not reacting to anything. Playing dead as an art form.
A Dodo = No Tweets and does not follow you back either. The Dodo is a No-No to follow!

Then we must take a trip to the Mystery part of the Zoo. First we have the Egg. An egg can become a bird, a reptile, an amphibian or a fish – we just don’t know yet. The Egg wants to hide for some reason. It can be laziness, shyness or lack of confidence that make this animal show only the Egg as its icon. We do not think that showing up like an Egghead  is done with  bad intention, even if we do feel like a Kinder Egg is a kinder kind of Egg. By the behavior and the presentation of the individual egg we try to guess what animal it will become when it comes out of its shell– we just haven’t cracked it.
An Egg = A Tweeter with no Profile Picture. Will Follow back or Not. Only Time will tell what to do.

The Mystery continues with the Cuckoo. As we know the Cuckoo does not want to be recognized hiding out in other nests so a Cuckoo does not show its true colors, preferably no colors at all. Nothing will be revealed to tell what Tweeter this is. The Cuckoo has two way to achieve this. One is to write nothing and the other is to write something fake. Both methods have their advantages and disadvantages. If you write nothing it is a bit weird but you cannot be revealed as liar. If you fake it looks kosher, but you risk being outed as a fake. Both might not be all that great after all.
A Cuckoo = A Tweeter that either has no presentation OR probably has a fake one. Might Follow, but should you follow back?

Then we have a section of the Zoo dedicated to animals with weird behavior. First in line there are the Fly. As we know from classic Fly tactics it loves everything. Good, Mediocre and even pure Garbage. It flies round following anything that might show up. This massive mass-follower has of course no time to actually communicate. Some collect stamps, the Fly collect accounts to follow.
A Fly = A Tweeter that mass follows almost everything. Weird – Stay away from the stench!

The perhaps most remarkable animal is perhaps only half an animal – let us proudly present the CyBull! This half animal- half machine is making Twitter irritating by automatic Tweets, Replies and Follows thus creating massive amounts of BS. The stream of Tweets is almost Tsunamish anyway without adding nonsense Tweets just because you are lazy, right?
A CyBull = A Tweeter that automatically sends out Tweets, Replies and Follows – We prefer real Tweets – Unfollow!

The next section of the Zoo is about sex. The animals here are either showing interest for or wanting others to show interest for sex related stuff. First in line are the Foxes. A Fox is defined by her erotically oriented Profile Image, perhaps a a pick-up line in the presentation or no presentation and finally almost no Tweets and the ambition to get as many followers a possible. The Fox is definitely selling and knows that med are not buying Playboy for the articles.
A Fox = A Tweeter that obviously works related to the sex industry. Don’t fall for a Fox even if the tail is pretty!

There is of course a male variety of the Fox (I guess some Foxes are really men in disguise too). This Wolf is another ball game. He comes on like a Macho, trash talking women but says he loves women and they love him too. Often he presents himself as a Gangsta rapper, a DJ or a blogger/singer/writer.  Nobody has of course heard much material from him. Seems the Wolf gets all his self-esteem by looking down on others. Amazing that the Wolves are not banned from Twitter. Yet.
A Wolf = A Tweeter that fills his Tweets with negativity – especially towards women. Send these guys away – Twitter is not therapy!

Last in the sex section are the Spiders. The Spider is really on the lookout for a mate. It can be recognized by remarks as “single”, “love” and similar notes. A Spider stays pretty still laying out thread after thread of stickiness hoping that one day some suitable will finally get stuck. Sometimes the Spider quotes famous lines from poems or thinkers as long the text is about love. Amazingly they seem to attract naive philosophers and nerds instead, more interested in the theories than real love.
A Spider = A Love thirsty Tweeter mainly aimed for a relation in this place. Unless you are extremely single yourself – take care!

Finally there is the P Section. The section that is about What and How. First there is the Peacock. A Peacock is all about himself and showing off. Yes we are talking about those who always promotes themselves in every Tweet and nearly with a link back to their own blog, website or Facebook fan page. The self glorification is almost approaching the level of the Wolves and the vulgarity of the Foxes. Guess soon this approach will show counter-productive and the Peacocks will be extinct.
A Peacock = A Tweeter that is totally self-promoting. Will probably not follow back either? Closely related to a Croc. If you prefer the commercial breaks to the actual film keep the Peacock Loose them!

Second in the P Section is the Platypus, named after the story “Plato and a Platypus came into a Bar”. In short – this Tweeter Tweets thoughts. Preferably philosophical, poetical or deep thoughts. Either thoughts by the Platypus or where ever they can be found. Any deep enough thought will do and will satisfy the Platypus. The Platypus loves the Spider for all the beauty and poetry, but unfortunately they will never actually meet. The Platypus hates the Peacock and all the vulgarity of commercialism of course. The Platypus prefers his own kind and perhaps the Canaries.
A Platypus = A Tweeter that is focused on Tweeting philosophical or poetical content. Will or will not follow back. If you appreciate a deep thought or two on occasion – do follow!

Third in the P are the Parrots. Many Tweeters do write their own material or get it from books. Not this one though. A Parrot is quite content with Re-Tweeting Tweets directly there and then.  No time for reflection, only time for mirroring. But the Parrot usually RTs mostly funny, thought-provoking or novel tweets. Just any commercial Peacock Tweet will not do. A Parrot aims to please.
A Parrot = A Tweeter that mostly Re-Tweets. Will follow back or not. If you like the content do follow!

Fourth and last in the P Section is the Piranha. This aggressive little fish sometimes come in schools but can also be found on its own. The Piranha thrives on snapping on Tweets and Tweeters. Sometimes the Piranha only gets a finger och an ear but sometimes the Piranha feast on an entire Tweeter going in for the kill. The Piranha usually waits for a subject to appear and the discussion to really get started before attacking. Then, without warning snappy, and witty remarks are produced quicker than you can say “ a Mish-mash fish dish” twice. This fish is not a silent partner.
A Piranha = A Tweeter that mainly Replies in Twitter. Follows or not. If you can take it – follow!

All these wonderful, and some not so wonderful, animals are unique in a way that make them different from other animals and even animals in the outer World with the same names – they can cross-Breed too! The Twitter World and its Zoo must build extensions all the time to embrace all the new species created as we speak. The PeaCroc has already seen the light of day and I have heard rumors of a CyFly too. The Tweevolutions is on its merry way and cannot be stopped.

Only one question still remains – What animal are YOU?

PS! Additions to the Twitter Zoo are now available at this Blog Post!  DS

Twiend, Twoe or Tweego? A New Social Media Split

Twitter is a World. A world of many agendas, personalities and ways. A world with about 200 million possible voices and 400 million ears or eyes.

The world of Tweeters can be divided into three large chunks: those who are interested in knowing others, those who are interested in their views being seen and those who are mainly into collecting followers.
The collector does not care who you are. You are just another stepping stone towards a new follower record. So a Follower Collector sometimes doesn’t even bother to tweet anything – isn’t getting more followers good enough? Let’s call the collector a ”Twoe” (a mix between a ”Foe” and a ”Tweeter”) because he or she is NOT your friend.

A friend or at least a wannabe friend is recognized by a few factors. This ”Twiend” follows you back if you decide to follow him. He might even thank you for following and even reply to your tweets or retweet them. The ”Twiend” might also tip you on things the ”Twiend” will not make a buck from. A “Twiend” will probably have about as many followers as people to follow. The main thing for a “Twiend” is to communicate with others. A true social being.

The third category is on Twitter to be seen and heard. This type wants this for mainly two reasons. Reason one is the pure narcissistic pleasure of spreading the ego through yet another channel and reason two is the idea of Twitter as a marketing channel. Let us call this typ “Tweego” as it is a mix between “Tweeter” and “Ego”. The narcissistic “Tweego” produces a lot of tweets in order to be seen and tries to get as many admirers as possible. This guy does not bother to follow you back of course as you are not the main focus. Find a Tweeter that tweets five times a day and does not follow back and then you will know. The marketing “Tweego” expects you to buy something in return for every tweet the “Tweego” produces so the tweets are mainly filled with links directly back to the “Tweegos” homepage where information on how to buy or an aggressive video awaits you with the “sure way to make money on Twitter” or something similar is on the agenda. If there are tips or questions in the tweets they always refer directly back to the “Tweego”. The “Tweego” is often similar to the “Twoe” in the ambition to get as many followers as possible but is trying to get as profitable followers a s possible. The “Tweego” wants a buck back from you – he or she does not want to follow you back. It is not the flow of ideas that is important – it’s the cash flow.

If you take a close look at the (Direct) Messages you get through Twitter, a sense of who we are just might appear out of the social mist. There are some genuine “Thank you for finding me” and there are also some “Let us be friends on Facebook or LinkedIn” too. But there are a huge part of Messages leading directly to sales offers before you even know that you want to get to know the sender.

As a detail there is also a category now which are not so open to communication as the “Pioneer Sparrows” were. There are two ways we can see this. The first sign is that they do not want to have anyone as follower so they restrict you from access to them. You have to make a formal request to reach them. The other sign is that they often use services to make sure that you don’t want to get to them only to make a buck. As a potential follower you need to visit a certain website in order to get verified.

There might be several reasons for this notion of restricting access. The first is of course that there are software out there to make it easy to get more followers without really wanting to know people. The other is a need to limit the amount of admin involved in handling all the followers and deciding on who to follow back or not. The third is that it might be a reaction on all the “Twoes” and “Tweegos” out there who seem not too keen on real communication.

Of course you can decide to always follow back and get a software or a service for that too. You might of course ask yourself “Do I really want to follow someone that does not want to know what I think and does not follow me back or restrict access?” Perhaps the answer is NO or perhaps we just sigh and accept the extra clicking involved to satisfy those Reluctant. Of course there ARE some accounts we might like to follow even if they will almost never follow us back. We just believe thay have good things to say. I always have a slot open for the Dalai Lama(is on Twitter) or Aung San Suu Kyi(plans to join). And if Jesus would return only to join Twitter there might be one or two following him too.

So why are we then on Twitter if we are honest to ourselves? Are we “Twiends”, “Twoes” or “Tweegos”?

Let’s face it – we all want followers, don’t we? People that love us and what we think. But there is a difference between wanted to be loved and being a “Twoe” or “Tweego”, right? We would rather see ourselves as “Twiends”, being social and philantropical. It would seem too boring and embarrassing to admit that we might be either narcissistic or greedy, or perhaps even both. Perhaps we are a bit of all three. Perhaps we DO want to communicate as “Twiends”, perhaps we DO want to boost our self-esteem as “Twoes” and perhaps we also DO want to make a buck as “Tweegos”? Are these categories parallel to personality types? Wonder what would happen if you apply a DISC test or something similar on Tweeters?

The main thing here might be to actually see who we are and then decide if we want it to be like this in Twitter or if we want Twitter to be something else. Then we need to actively take step to change ourselves and influence others too. Or we can decide that Twitter is perfect as it is and go with the flow. Do we want Twitter to be just another marketing channel for some? Or do we need to be aware of who the tweeters are that like us to follow them? There is of course a simple way to make the decision – unfollow those you don’t like and don’t follow those you suspect will not follow you back! There are services out there to make that easy for us too. There is of course another option – to be a Twitter drop-out or to never join.

But to “Social Media Nuts” like us – dropping out from the Twitter World is not even thinkable , is it?